polyWHORE

                                 


Playing around with Polyvore is kind of like getting to be on an episode of Stylista where you create your own fashion editorial except you don't have to deal with the bitchy whining fugface better known as Megan and Anne Slowey doesn't tear you a new one for spelling some socialite's name wrong. It is getting a bit depressing though because I create stuff like the ensemble shown above and realize a.) there is no way I will ever be able to own/afford the pieces I use in the collages, and b.) currently there is no way I can even afford cheaper versions of the clothing and accessories used in the collages.

BUT just because I can't shop doesn't mean I can't go to Border's and spend $15 on the February issue of French Vogue featuring Lara Stone! The editorials are amazing, and Lara looks like the perfect alien femmebot I think we've all come to know and love. And she's got curves! I'll try to post some pics from it later. They're very "edgy" (i.e. they feature lots of faux fetishism and nudity) so be forewarned.

I DIE

Fashion's It Boy Alexander Wang has somehow managed to convince my broke ass that a $100 t-shirt is just so exactly what my wardrobe needs in these trying economic times. His new diffusion line just hit the virtual 'shelves' at Oak and I'm feeling a serious case of WANT. They look worn-in and used and roughed-up, like Pamela Anderson's face but less coke whore-y. They drape perfectly on the body. They are the epitome of style porn. In no way will I be able to justify purchasing one of these, but hey, I can dream, right?

leathaaa

After spending countless hours searching ebay for cropped leather motorcycle jackets and realizing that people are far too willing to bid absurd amounts of money on them, it finally dawned on me that they might be cheaper if I went straight to the source. Thus I found myself tagging along with my boyfriend one Saturday afternoon to browse the leather offerings at Just Leather in San Jose, a family-owned motorcycle leather store. And guess what? They sell kids' motorcycle jackets for $99! It took a little gumption on my part to brave the bemused looks of old guys buying chaps for their Harleys, but the sales people were super-nice and not at all rude even though I was clearly more of a fashionista than a ride-or-die type chick. Of course, I couldn't buy it myself, so my dearest BF picked it up for me on the sly and had it sitting under the tree on Christmas morning. Best gift ever.

I wore it last night to a punk show with my DIY shredded tank (thanks to Camille's tutorial) and my new J Brands that I got on sale for $50 (I know, I know, I'm not supposed to be shopping, but I NEEDED them). I felt slightly out-of-place, like a hipster trying to look cool at a punk show, but it was pretty fun. Brought me back to my Jnco, chain-wallet-wearing days of yore. 

what i wore today

Spent the first half of the day watching The Real World from last night, marveling that I still actually watch that crap show, making oatmeal, cleaning the bathroom, and applying for jobs. Then I realized it was 3:00 and I had yet to set foot outside the house. Hermit-like, I crept into the shower, emerged refreshed, and put this little outfit together that consists of a wool skirt my mom has had since the 70's, a vintage plaid button-down (so S.F. hipster), and my most treasured Topshop Mongolian gilet, a gift for my birthday. Oh, and of course my Terry de Havilland wedges, a sale find from Shopbop sometime last year when I had a job. And money. Those were the days.

And what did I do in this getup? I went with my mom to have tea at a great neighborhood spot called Lovejoy's Tea Room. I have a thing for little cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches with the crusts cut off. You know, Stuff White People Like. I'm painfully unoriginal.

feathers!

As I mentioned earlier, my ingenuity and resourcefulness finally triumphed over the inflated price points of the venerable Urban Outfitters. Using store-bought feathers, I was able to create a feather hair clip much like the ones selling in their stores for $18. Sure, eighteen bucks may not seem like a whole bunch of money, but unemployment insurance isn't a lot of money either. I am forced to improvise.

Anyhoo, here's a picture of what the ones on U.O. website look like:

And, if you'll kindly excuse the crappy MacBook pictures, here's my creation:

It was really easy, even for a plebian like me. All I did was cut out a small piece of felt and glue the feathers to it in neat rows using a glue gun. Then I took one of those alligator hair clips and used a small piece of ribbon to attach the felt to the clip. Voila!

mangarters?

Dear John Galliano,

This is getting a little out-of-hand. Please refrain from featuring lacy underpinnings in your men's collections in the near future. 

Cheers,

Joanna

doin' it myself

I'm so glad designers finally gave us a break this season by showing clothing that's easy to make from pieces we already own. It's perfect for my no-job-having ass. Industrious little thing that I am, I've already made some cute feather hair clips (a la Urban Outfitters) and shredded two of my white t-shirts like Camille at Childhood Flames. Now I'm considering tackling the daunting task of slashing, and/or bleaching a pair of jeans. I want them to look like this:

I've heard you need to use thicker bleach to get the real effect. And quite frankly, I'm a little spooked at this point because I tried to bleach my dear old Chucks with household liquid bleach and they turned a lovely shade of salmon/rust/baby diarrhea:

I don't dare try this on my treasured Topshop skinnies unless I am confident in my ability NOT to make the end result suck. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated.

what is style porn?

Do you have a boner for Balmain? A passion for Prada? Does the mere sight of Alexander Wang's perfectly draped, slouchy pocket tanks send you into a quixotic state of blind lust? Then this, my friends, is the blog for you. I too am cursed with expensive and impeccable taste, but until my job prospects improve, the chances of me going on any shopping sprees are slim to none. In the meantime, I need my fix. And I'll get it by combing the dark recesses of the interweb for fabulous fashion with a 4-digit price tag--stuff that for now at least, only belongs in the realm of pure fantasy. Just like pornography only you know, with less body fluid involved.

Here's what I've been ogling lately:

All looks: Alberta Ferretti SS09 via Style.com