big puffy hearts

wearing J. Crew dress, vintage Monet gold chain

I'm so glad those awkward grade school days are over when you had to give every kid in class a valentine's day card so no one felt left out (Lisa Simpson, I know you feel my pain).  Adulthood brings with it some pretty awkward Valentine's day traditions as well (edible arrangements, edible underwear, $600 Eres crotchless panties) but for the most part, as long as you've got dinner plans and some decent wine, it's smooth sailing.

Hope your day is filled with bon bons and whatever else floats your boat--and if you're feeling really randy, how about this dildo-shaped $10,000 chess set courtesy of Kiki de Montparnasse:

Schwing!

instagoth

Received a holiday party invite in December for a Gothic Christmas Party where the dress code was emphatically described as: "Nosferatu goth, not Nine Inch Nails Goth.' (Confession time: I'm still not clear whether they meant Nosferatu the movie or Nosferatu the band). In 1999 you may have found me and my bestie Tara in a similar look (photographic proof below) but it's been awhile since head-to-toe black and burgundy lipliner were de rigueur elements of our wardrobe. Luckily it turns out being goth is a lot like riding a bike, but of course way less conformist.

2013

I'm not 100% sold on dressing up tonight (it's going to be cold, my feet will hurt, etc.) but luckily I don't have very much in the way of shining metallics and sequins, so the selection process will likely be not that difficult.

In the meantime, I dredged up some looks from New Years' past. That 2010 looks is SO painfully 2010.

2010: Zara shirt, vintage bandage skirt and bag
2011: Vintage dress, belt, necklace, J. Crew headband
2012: Anthropologie pants, Madewell blouse, vintage shoes

santa tracker

wearing J. Crew dress, Uniqlo tights, Banana Republic jacket (super, super old), infinity scarf from Ross (no label), vintage necklace and bangles, Pixie Market shoes

It's the most wonderful time of the year--unless there's a tornado ripping through your local high school. No tornadoes here in California, just a rainy-ass day that bothered me not one bit because I spent it in my pajamas by the fire with my family and boyfriend and Kobe. Got some nice things too, including a Clarisonic (aka a Sonicare for your face) that I can just tell is going to do wonders on my winter-ravaged skin. Later I'll be making pot du creme and stopping by a friend's house for a Christmas birthday celebration. And tomorrow, it's Boxing day! Which means I get to eat Trifle and wear a paper crown. It's not a bad life. Hope yours is chugging along in the same vein.

festive threads

pants via Anthropologie, vintage shell top, Mossimo turtleneck, Sigerson Morrison heels, vintage Bally bag, vintage Monet enameled chain link bracelet, J. Crew headband

With holiday party season in full swing, it's wise to have a few sparkly and/or gilded items hanging around in case you're ever in need of a last-minute cocktail party outfit. This leaves more time for actually celebrating and less time spent in stockings harrumphing over the fact that you have nothing to wear. Also, this headband thingy has become my favorite updo tool and go-to hairstyle for holiday parties. Instructions on how to create this style can be found here. The best part? There are no pins needed. I swears.

black friday sticker shock

1. Sonia by Sonia Rykiel color block silk top, was $460 now $322
2. Diane Von Furstenburg Laurel wool blend boucle coat, was $695, now $417
3. Kenzo textured knit sweater, was $260, now $130
4. Yves Saint Laurent Charlotte glossed-leather and metal loafers, were $6745, now $472
5. Acne best lux wool crepe pants, were $500, now $200
6. Preen Rombus silk crepe de chine top, was $905, now $543
7. Maje smart stretch leather leggings, were $1120, now $560
8. Jonathan Saunders Benedict cropped printed silk-gazar top, was $960, now $480
9. Jonathan Saunders Belle printed silk-gazar midi-skirt, was $1585, now $792
10. Yves Saint Laurent Tan large Chyc tote bag, was $2150, now $1720
11. Marc Jacobs stud ankle boots, were $895, now $626
12. Miu Miu Bow-embellished snake-effect leather ankle boots, were $895, now $537
13. Richard Nicoll leather mini dress, was $1355, now $678
14. Emilio Pucci amethyst and glass ring, was $275, now $192
15. Alexander Wang Nikola mule heels, were $525, now $368

The grand total for these items, were I to become momentarily insane and buy them all, would come to $8,037.00. Now I don't know about you, but even with a generous offer of free shipping, this is skewing a little bit steep for me.

Did you get anything good on the internetz for black Friday? Do tell! It will help make up for my empty virtual shopping cart.

happy thanksgiving

Y'all know the drill. It's the time of year to really stop bitching about traffic, stress at work, those studded boots you missed out on at the Gilt sale, and the eternal fight over national politics. It's time to pardon turkeys, slaughter many, many more turkeys, wear clothing with forgiving waistbands, and camp out in front of appliance stores. In other words, it's decorative gourd season, motherfuckers!

you've got to climb mt. everest to reach the valley of the dolls

Spent Halloween in a slowly increasing state of dishevelment as Anne Welles from Valley of the Dolls (which was a terrible book before it was a terrible movie...I highly recommend reading it). For work I played the more put-together polished version, and by nightfall I was a smeared mess, 'dolls' in hand.

The day before Halloween we had the world-famous pumpkin carver Shawn Feeney in our office to work his magic on a pumpkin, which we streamed live. This guy is seriously talented. Check out more of his work here.

More hot mess action. It rained really hard on my way to the party, which added to the overall affect:

The party was a 'Hotel California' theme, complete with a creepy butler (hired on Craigslist), a reception desk, and room keys as souvenirs:

The bathroom was delightfully reminiscent of a murder scene:

And finally, we all know it's not a real holiday without pictures of dogs looking distressed in adorable costumes. L to R: Quasi as the horse + headless horseman, Kobe as a mod, and Gus as a dinosaur (begging for cheese cubes):

Hope you all had a fun and fantastic Hallow's Eve!

halloween ideas pt. 1

Since it's been two years (!!) since my last shameless drag queen opportunity, I'm wanting to do it up hard this year. The only question is, as what? Or whom?

For one, I'm toying with the idea of transforming myself into the rare, exquisite 80s icon Brenda Dickson. Brenda played Jill Foster Abbott on The Young and the Restless from 1973-1980, and most famously made an ill advised foray into lifestyle and fashion advice with a vanity film called Welcome to My Home, which of course gave rise to one of the most glorious internet memes ever, along with the phrase that pays: "Remember, when you eat you're just a vacuum with nipples."

Lee press-on nails, big hair, magenta eye contouring, and a loud-ass hawaiian print muumuu should do the trick.

i'm your national anthem

lorick dress from Gilt Groupe, Swedish Hasbeens for H&M, etsy earrings

I'm not sure what's the most awesome part of these pictures from our 4th of July trip to Sonoma: the fact that Wardell looks like Captain Ron (ironically??) or the fact that this amazing dog Bruno was there and we totally hung out with him and he is such a little buddy. OR the fact that I am in the best outfit ever, one that combines two of my favorite things: warm weather dressing and thematic dressing (red, white, and blue baby).

Thematic warm-weather dressing rules. Also, weenie dogs rule.

my father, the hero

I have my dad to thank for two things: my caterpillar eyebrows and my sense of humor. Well, actually that's a gross oversimplification. He also provided me with the perfect suburban childhood, an unabating love of Paul Simon, a healthy appetite for game birds, and all manner of luxurious creature comforts. In fact, when I come to visit my parents on Sundays, he still takes my car to get it washed (it's always filthy) and sometimes slips me a $20. I'm rather spoiled.

But who is Don Dorfman? He started life as the token Jewish kid among Scandinavians in Fargo, North Dakota. Yes, that Fargo. When he graduated high school, he hopped on a freight train and hitched a ride to Oregon, where he spent some time picking apples alongside migrant workers. Realizing the hobo life wasn't much of a permanent vocation, he attended the University of Michigan and Harvard Law School. Eventually, he ended up in San Francisco, where he met my mother and the rest, obviously, is all about me.

The pictures above are from his cross-country hobo journey on the back of a freight train, circa 1965. The pic on the bottom (my dad is the one in what looks like a white fur hat) is from Harvard, probably about 1970.