I'm back from Mexico! You probably didn't know that because I'm a dickhead and didn't say goodbye in the first place. My family and friends are also pretty mad at me because I didn't send them a single postcard or email during my stay. Apparently I took to the whole "off the grid" thing a little too seriously.
I'll be back with a seriously exhaustive, self-aggrandizing look at the whole journey right after I run to the toilet. All I want to know is, who was this Montezuma, and why does he insist on taking revenge on my intestines?