self aware

wearing Calvin Klein cardigan, vintage blouse and belt, J. Crew jeans, Made by Elves booties

My memory is terrible.

I tire easily.

Sometimes I try too hard to be funny.
I am prone to hyperbole and over-embellishment.
I'm impatient.
I am self-interested.


Until you know yourself, you'll never be in on the joke. Because the joke, my friend, is you.

sometimes you have to get angry to get even

It's cold and rainy and right now the idea of pulling a blanket over my head sounds like just about the best idea I've ever had. I'm so over this weather that I wore a pink Snuggie today at work. True story.

Also, finally saw Funny People over the weekend after I realized I hadn't seen like a single new movie this year. And I loved it even though I'm not the biggest fan of Adam Sandler. Curiously enough, he's actually quite good at doing these kind of darkly depressing roles a la Punch Drunk Love (a great film). What other movies have people seen this year that I need to see? I'm trying to "get my affairs in order" on the eve of the death of 2009.

And let's be honest, 2009 has been a real cunt of a year. I won't be sad to see it go.

On a lighter note, how lovely are these paper hats by design team Amy Flurry and Nikki Salk? They remind me of something that would be in the store window at Barneys.

bye buddy, hope you find your dad

wearing child's motorcycle jacket from Just Leathers, vintage fox fur stole, Banana Republic drape cardigan, Urban Outfitters t-shirt, J-Brand jeans, Zara shoes, vintage rhinestone necklace, vintage snake bracelet

Got myself into the holiday spirit by doing last-minute shopping on Christmas eve (strangely not a suicide-inducing experience), watching Elf, and Kobe cuddling. As a direct result of my Christmas loot, I now have a bloated closet on the verge of exploding all over my apartment and engulfing innocent roommates in its wake. I'm definitely going to make a trip to Crossroads tomorrow to unload some of my clothes or I'm afraid I'm going to end up a multiple-cat-owning spinster on the A&E show Hoarders.

Below you will find the shining red beacons of elegance and sophistication that I adopted a few weeks ago from the sale section at Neiman Marcus. They were wrapped and under the tree like all my other presents, except you know, I bought them for myself. Expect a proper outfit post featuring these babies soon.

And no, they're not comfortable.

Manolo Blahnik pumps

big girl

Ok, so everyone is (predictably) queefing over Terry Richardson's literal take on "One Size Fits All" for V Magazine. OMG, they put a like, fat girl right next to a skinny one! How fearless of them!

Well to anyone who thinks this "gutsiness" indicates a changing tide, I have news for you: it doesn't. It's just another obtuse take on 'edginess' from the master of sex and rock n' roll and record-holding penis-size owner Terry Richardson. Crystal Renn is gorgeous, but why pit her against a skinny model? Because let's be honest, the playing field isn't even. Our eyes have become accustomed to seeing designer clothes draped on the rib cages of women who look like they've just survived a week long bout with dysentery or stomach parasites. What good does it do to ease the eye into a more "realistic" (if you want to call it that--I can't think of that many people I know who are as jaw-droppingly gorgeous as Crystal) depiction of the female form by comparing it side-by-side with the status quo? Hardly seems groundbreaking to me.

In spite of this rant (wow, it feels good to write something longer than 3 sentences) I really think these are gorgeous photos. It's just a little tiresome to have all these people in fashion declaring the 'end of the skinny model' when you and I and your aunt Edna all know that's bullshit.

Here are some other editorials of Crystal that I really love:

people in hell just want a drink of water

"role play"
"face"

"Delikatessen"

Some amazing images by Austrian photographer Bela Borsodi. I'm impressed by any artist with an ouvre that manages to include fetishism, designer accessories, fine jewelry, anatomy, and laundry art. You can check out his website here.

Is it weird that the first picture makes me want a nude pearl-encrusted bodysuit? Please don't judge.

world cultures

A weekend jaunt to Black and Brown turned up this heavily brocaded 60's Eastern-European-meets-boho-chic vest that weighs in at a good 3 lbs. Anyone with any cognizance of world cultures who wants to tell me where it could be from, please share. I'll buy you a cupcake.

Also, finally ripped, prodded, sanded, and chiseled my acrylic nails off and sprung for the Calgel manicure at Bisou Nail Lounge in Oakland. Of course, I had to go for an Ombre pattern for my first time out. I'll let you guys know how it wears, but so far I'm optimistic and excited about the prospect of not completely ruining my natural nails. Oh, and I can suddenly type about 25% faster now that they're a more sensible (read: non-Rihanna) length.

ps

Completely OT, but can we take a second to talk about the piece of Guido magic better known as The Jersey Shore? It's possibly the most beautiful ode to sharpie eyebrows, tanning beds, and fist-pumping ever created. MTV is getting really good at queefing out these little nuggets of greatness. Well played, MTV.

hip hop

top to bottom: image via iconology, Lil Wayne via Rollingstone.com, Teyana Taylor

Hip hop isn't dead. It's just jacked up on steroids and addicted to autotune. And I love every minute of it.

i'll be the man on the moon

wearing Stella McCartney for H&M tuxedo jacket, Bloomingdales men's shirt, J.Crew jeans, Zara booties
Major spending occurred today at the Neiman Marcus designer sale. Let's just say I walked away 1 pair of Manolos poorer. And just because I'm a loser, I'm totally going to wrap them and put them under the tree. It seems less selfish that way, doesn't it?

la croix: 1987-2009

The year of impossible goodbyes continues with today's news that beloved fashion house La Croix will be shuttering its doors after it failed to find a buyer in French bankruptcy court. They had been trying to save the Couture and Pret-a-porter parts of the business, but will only end up keeping the accessories and fragrance lines. Which means the La Croix that we know and love, and that was immortalized in countless episodes of Absolutely Fabulous, will be dead.

And that makes me sad.

dirty pirate hooker

Top and bottom: Jeffrey Campbell boots, J Brand jeans, Zara tunic, mom's belt, vintage necklace. Middle: JC boots, J Brand jeans, H&M jacket, DIY shredded tee and vintage necklace
Well, it happened. I finally found the perfect combination of height, sex appeal, platform, and price point to suit my needs. And it feels sooooo right.

These beauties were waiting for me when I got home from work last night, and I wasted no time in trying them on with my black skinnies and new sweater tunic from a weekend Zara trip. At that point I had them pulled all the way up--which on someone of my diminutive stature means they reach well beyond mid-thigh. So when I wore them to work today I folded them under to a more demure mid-thigh level and paired them with my broke-ass Wal Mart version of a Chanel jacket. Because y'know, nothing spells class quite like hooker boots and fake Chanel.

I'm thinking of getting the boots hemmed so they hit right about mid-thigh. Is that a bad idea?

wish list

Dear friends, family, secret admirers, sugar daddies, etc:

The following items are on my Christmas/Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa wish list...

cashmere sweater (Martin & Osa)

thin, silk-blend socks for wearing with heels (a la Burberry Prorsum SS10)

a classic, slightly boxy blazer (J. Crew)

vintagey, mis-matched bracelets

shit-kicker heels (Burberry Prorsum FW10)

a statement ring (this one is YSL)

Swiss dot sheer tights (Balenciaga SS10)

Also:

vintage home decor

vintage books

assorted gilded frames for art

decorative paper

Let's all do our part and buy some shit this holiday season.

the hangover

wearing J. Crew sweater, Urban Outfitters T-shirt, F21 leggings and bracelet, vintage necklace, Zara flats

Fresh cough + shameless gluttony at Thanksgiving dinner - a face full of makeup = the ghastly, ghoulish expression you see above. Even my mom was like, you look pale. Want to put some lipstick on first?

Luckily the tree is BRINGING IT in these pictures. I may be too sick to "smiiiize" but the neon autumn leaves are stealing the show anyway, so who cares?

tuesday laughs

How hilarious are these album cover collages? If anyone knows who is responsible for these so that I can erect a shrine in their honor immediately, please let me know.

I definitely have a case of whatever I've been fighting off/narrowly avoiding for the past few weeks. I feel all fevery and my femurs hurt. If anything happens that will interfere with my enjoyment of Turkey, we're going to have a problem.