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Wednesday, May 13, 2009

mood indigo

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wearing Rebecca Beeson turtleneck, aa tank, vintage necklace


Sorry there hasn't been an outfit post in a few days. The truth is every few years, like clockwork, I have an inexplicable freakout where I suddenly think I'm incapable of coping with the simplest elements of life and there is no way I can possibly go on. I suppose in this case some of it is new job anxiety, but a larger part of it I have to just chalk up to the way I'm wired. In spite of how flawlessly witty and clever I am, there are just a couple of teeny tiny things that go wrong with my brain sometimes. Basically all it means is that once in awhile, out of nowhere, I wake up in the morning and start crying. And crying and crying and crying. I can't stop. It's really quite absurd, and I often literally laugh at myself while I'm crying. Like, why can't I stop it? What in the sam hell is wrong with me? I feel panicked a bit but mostly just really really sad. Suddenly, things that usually make me happy (listening to music, blogging, shopping, seeing my dog and my horse, my mom, etc.) make me cry more. It's quite tiresome, and I HATE feeling fragile. It scares me.

So, I just need to relax, read a book, take my happy vitamins, go on a walk, and keep it simple until this storm passes. I'll be my emotionless robotic self again before I know it!

ps
Mood Indigo is a really bitchin' Nina Simone song. You should definitely listen to it.

9 comments:

  1. It's totally normal to be a bit off-kilter sometimes, you'll be right in no time =)

    Your necklace is gorgeous.

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  2. I love Ur necklace! TOTALLY!

    XoXo

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  3. take your meds. i love the necklace!

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  4. Oh I know exactly how you feel! In my therapy to treat eating disorder talk much about those days that just makes one want to lie down, cry, scream, cry, shout. I think this is a phase that comes to us all.
    Today I signed up for the University! If I pass the exams now come in the 2nd half the year.. Oh my beautiful puppy is up to me nervous.
    But it's a phase, it will pass.

    Read a good book, relax and be given time to think about your life..
    Believe me, there is no one stronger than you.. This is a fragile being silly! ;)

    Much love,
    Jamily.

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  5. your necklace is fantasttttic!

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  6. That necklace is AMAZING!!! LOVE IT. And I totally know how you feel. I need to chill the eff out.

    Left ya a little something on my blog doll! XO

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